I have been working/studying since I am born, always with something to do and tasks to fulfill. This is my first time, sitting at home for 2 weeks with nothing to do and unknown about my future. Where will I be? What will I do? What will I settle on? Or when is my next income coming in? ????? All these is unknown, everyday searching for my path / sending resumes. Again and again running in circle, again and again having this peace and having this fear of not having a job.
It has been 2 weeks, jobless... I has been looking forward to have this rest while I am working hard in the company. Even planned to resigned and stay at home for 6 months to rest. But once I have it, I am eager to go back to work force. Only 2 weeks... But I am sure also enjoying myself everyday, relaxing and sleep whenever I want, go anywhere I want at any timing. It is shiok to shop at the shopping mall with little crowd and the sales assistant will be giving you all the attention. At the same time, at the back of my head, the fear is knocking and visiting me once in a while of not having income. I just have to be aware and reason out with myself to enjoy the present moment. You may missed this opportunity of resting before you join back the work force again.
While I am working, I keep finding time to do my own things, examples readings and listening to Dharma talks and chanting. I keep complaining that I have no time but once I have it, I wasted my time away.... Not doing what I wanted to do all along. This is so funny, I guess I am not contented with my current situationa and do not know how to cherish when I have it. It is important to have the right mindfulness to know what we are doing now and make the right effort to do it. To have the right thoughts and understanding to be contented in where we are and stay positive in whatever outcome we recieved. Everything happens for a reason. You will learn and benefit in whatever happens, either good or bad if you reflect upon yourself.